Foggy Mirrors – Part 2, Installment #5

See Installment #4 of Foggy Mirrors here


It wasn’t all darkness and night, Elanī had surrounded herself with beautiful, loving, supportive and wise peoples. She had been greatly loved and had passed down that love and light to her child. There was still much light, and growing in strength in this world. And in her grief, that was what she clung to dearly.

It was three days after the funeral, three days after the debacle her brother had stirred up at their Matron’s Honoring of Life. He was unwell, she knew, but it still angered and hurt her. On that third day of mourning though, the first letter arrived. Elanī was confused. She recognized that familiar, trembling handwriting, as she hesitantly drew the envelope out from her post box. Perhaps, it was written a long time ago and had gotten lost in the mail? Intrigued, Elanī tore open the envelope and to her utter and complete amazement, began reading the words of her Matron’s:

“Dear Morning Glory, 

You need not feel badly; I am your Matron who has loved you from before birth. So please put your mind to rest and let life take its course. I have discovered that in life we give a lot and we receive a lot. That makes life so beautiful – love. 

Now Elaniah, I must tell you this: You are not to be too sad for me. I am the most joyful spirit in the world. And yes, there are others who are the same. I am never discouraged, sad or lonely. I am as happy as a lark and finding joy in so many, many things.

Before I transitioned over, I sat down with your brother Samuel and shared with him a few things. Being the only boy and my first born, I felt he should know about the will. I will not burden you with those things, though. I just want you to be well, happy and properly looked after. When you think of me now, just think of my big smile, because that’s the way I am all the time now. I hope that one day soon, you too will know the joy I have. 

I love you so very much. Keep well.
Loads of love and kisses and hugs for you,

Her eyes greedily searched the letter searching for some proof, any proof that her suspicions were unfounded. But there at the top of the first page, shakily stood the truth. The letter was dated with today’s date. Somehow her Matron, that larger-than-life, powerhouse of a woman who had borne and lovingly reared her, had found a way to talk to her daughter through the unfathomable veils of death. Elanī folded up the letter, placed it back in its plain white envelope and promptly began to cry.

Installment #6 of Foggy Mirrors will be posted on Wednesday.

Installment #5 Photo Credit by Davide Baraldi on Unsplash

Foggy Mirrors – Part 2, Installment #4

See Installment #3 of Foggy Mirrors here


Elanī mindlessly scrolled through her social media accounts. Ghastly images popped up of the beaten, shot, hung and forcibly detained, littered amongst obituary stills of the happy and smiling dead, and front-page photographs of peoples taking to the streets en masse, marching on their governments, their police precincts, their states. The groundswell of pain and rage and “enoughness” had bubbled over and ignited within the collective of her Matron’s nations. And once again, her people were embattled in a campaign for their right to live and breathe. The ground they marched on stained with the blood of countless lives, over innumerable generations; the soil made fertile with the tears of her line. Elanī snapped shut her handheld communicator, unable to breathe, to cry, to scream. Inhale, Ellie, she willed herself. ExhaleInhaleExhale. It was taking more effort, and becoming more dangerous to compress her feelings into neat little travel trunks, buried deep in her being like hidden Pandora treasures. These wounded, whispering secrets were tired of being kept. They wanted out. They needed expression. They needed to be releasedContinue reading

Foggy Mirrors – Part 1, Installment #3

See Installment #2 of Foggy Mirrors here


“Ms. Montgomery-Moone, the successor of Mrs. Phyllia Montgomery?”

Elanī did not breathe, “This is she.”

“Your Matron has been admitted to our care. We will need to discuss some options with you. Is this a good time?”

It’s never a good time for bad news, dumbass, thought Elanī. But instead, simply replied, “Yes.”

“I believe you have been made aware of your Matron’s terminally progressive condition, whereby an unknown parasite is infecting her brain? However, she is currently being treated for a rare blood disease.” My family is a blood disease, Elanī mused, humourlessly.

Continue reading

Foggy Mirrors – Part 1, Installment #2

See Installment #1 of Foggy Mirrors here


Elanī was pouring a freshly brewed pot of aromatic lavender and peppermint tea, when the telephone started jangling and dancing in the other room. Elanī, however, was decidedly not in any mood to be conversing with another human soul. Begrudgingly, she trudged out of the kitchen and through to the adjoining room, sloshing piping hot tea down her leg and onto the floor, while making her way to answering the frantic, antique princess phone. Continue reading

Foggy Mirrors – Part 1, Installment #1

inga-gezalian-Wnler_kasvc-unsplashIn the Earth year 2020, when that world stopped, when her love of many lifetimes finally left her side, Elanī opened up her home as a haven for those Sensitives who were in need of safe expression, peaceful rest, light play, and of course, loving care. It was all she had the strength for at that time, and in that place. Elanī sighed deeply, a sigh as old and weary as the world herself, and turned slowly to go back inside. Back through the silver netted screen door, festooned with clear crystals, catching the sunlight, and tossing sparkling rainbows this way and that. Before she reached it, the singing rocks in her Secret Garden trembled excitedly and trilled sweetly with tinny voices; foretelling Elanī, and all else who would hear, of a Coming. Telling of a shifting change without hinting of what that change might possibly be. The winds picked up then, clean and cooling and decisively clearing. Elanī shivered slightly in her butter cream, loose-knit wrap. “Can you feel that?” She asked quietly of her milk white cat, sitting by her bare foot and neatly licking its front paw. “Can you sense that, Hades?” Hades the Cat paused its licking, only looking up briefly to fix Elanī with a sagely knowing, golden-eyed stare, and then resumed its meticulous grooming of his glorious wintry coat. Something was coming undone, had come undone. Elanī just knew it. But it was the what that niggled at the corners of her mind, and worried the fine hairs on her warm dark skin. “Tea!” Elanī said aloud to herself and rushing off to set the kettle to boil. “I’ll make some tea.” Continue reading

Foggy Mirrors, An Unfolding Memoir

I think most of us can agree that 2020 is proving to be a very strange year, indeed. Massive awakenings and resistance, reflection and introspection, and light being shone into dark corners. It has stirred up some intense emotions for so many. And it has inspired me to do some therapeutic writing to help me express some of these intense events and emotions in a safe and constructive way.

A few days ago, I started writing Foggy Mirrors. It is a diary/creative, non-fiction memoir centered around my life in 2020. But may go beyond that depending on where and how far the inspiration takes me 🙂

Click here to read the first installment of Foggy Mirrors.


Growing Gratitude


The winter holiday season is upon again, and for many of us this is a time of wish lists, merriment, generosity and acts of charity. However, the Universe does not perceive giving freely, kindnesses and gratitude as seasonal or trending. Nor should it be a temporary attempt on our part at being “good” at “the right time of year”. True gratitude is a mindset; a mindset which ought to be cultivated and nurtured. It means being constantly and genuinely thankful for each success you achieve; each blessing which is bestowed upon you, and each miracle you perceive. Continue reading