See Installment #3 of Foggy Mirrors here
Elanī mindlessly scrolled through her social media accounts. Ghastly images popped up of the beaten, shot, hung and forcibly detained, littered amongst obituary stills of the happy and smiling dead, and front-page photographs of peoples taking to the streets en masse, marching on their governments, their police precincts, their states. The groundswell of pain and rage and “enoughness” had bubbled over and ignited within the collective of her Matron’s nations. And once again, her people were embattled in a campaign for their right to live and breathe. The ground they marched on stained with the blood of countless lives, over innumerable generations; the soil made fertile with the tears of her line. Elanī snapped shut her handheld communicator, unable to breathe, to cry, to scream. Inhale, Ellie, she willed herself. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. It was taking more effort, and becoming more dangerous to compress her feelings into neat little travel trunks, buried deep in her being like hidden Pandora treasures. These wounded, whispering secrets were tired of being kept. They wanted out. They needed expression. They needed to be released.
The rains came like a blessing, great, hard sheets of water pouring down from the skies. It felt good. A fantastic, external release from that she was feeling; the skies were crying all the tears she had not yet shed. In that moment, Elanī tried to remember her training, to to reach for joy, gratitude, love and all those other higher vibrational things. But she could not. She wondered, what would become of her if she continued not to care for herself, love herself, like she had been taught she should? Elanī shook her head sharply, trying to clear the muddle of her thoughts and rose gingerly from the window seat where she had been watching the rains. Hades had been scarce lately, more so than usual. He no longer seemed to know how to approach her these days following the transition of her Matron. Suddenly, Elanī felt utterly and completely alone in the world. The glamour of her hard earned persona lay shattered at her feet.
Installment #5 of Foggy Mirrors will be posted on Wednesday.
Installment #4 Photo Credit by Ramon Kagie on Unsplash