We all need support through seeking advice and guidance from time to time. See what Tired of Being Misunderstood had to ask regarding being heard by her/his community and managing their well-being needs in part 1 of my 4-part miniseries of life and well-being advice/guidance seeking open letters from the community and my coaching responses:
Dear Coach Melanie,
I’ve been fighting some health concerns for a while which means I’m often tired, depressed or both and find it difficult to balance my usual workload and commitments. I’m also in a pretty scary financial position. Well-meaning friends keep trying to find me full time work but I am unable to take on a full workload at this time. I’ve tried to explain this and end up feeling like they think I am lazy and just don’t get it. Or they tell me that they feel the same way but manage to push through anyway which makes me feel worse. How do I talk to my friends and family about this? I hate not being understood, or worse, judged, for something I can’t help.
Tired of being misunderstood
Dear Tired of Being Misunderstood,
Struggling to manage health issues in and of itself is very stressful, let alone adding financial issues, mental well-being and not feeling entirely connected to your community (friends, family and colleagues). You are a Heart Warrior, but you find yourself in a situation where you are suffering from frequent bouts of depression, making it difficult to form sound health, financial and work decisions which are in your best interests both for the short and long term. Sadly, depression and despair are all too common when experiencing ongoing health problems.
It is important not to internalize others’ misinterpretations of your situation (that you are lazy, unmotivated), as being truth. Comparing yourself to your friends only adds to your disdain and mental/spiritual paralysis. You are amazingly unique! Become more forgiving of yourself; your truth is that you are going through plenty and struggling to stay afloat as best you can; this is your reality and lived experience.
One productivity approach to combatting being immobilized by responsibilities, competing priorities and commitments is to: choose 3 items which need doing, if you complete 1 of the 3 you have had a successful day. If you complete 3 out of 3 it’s a stellar one! And, celebrate these successes no matter how small: high five yourself, do your happy dance or say a “YAY ME!!!” out loud. By starting off small you decrease the risk of becoming overwhelmed and also nurture your motivational momentum.
It is truly wonderful that you are seeking to connect with your friends on a level which fosters personal growth and understanding. I would encourage you to cast your net even further and expand your community to include more people who you may relate to/with and share stories and resources. Support groups are great for just this purpose and there are many (online and in person) regarding physical health and depression. Seek out groups which are led and moderated by a licensed professional (e.g. Clinical Counsellor, Psychiatrist, M.D, Naturopath, Doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine, etc.). These groups provide extra value as you will also learn to develop language- oftentimes, we downplay the severity of our situation as to not sound whiny, complaining or negative- to more effectively relate your current situation with your friends and family.
Being heard by service providers, friends and family and expanding your community are solid first steps forward to re-balancing out your life.
Please Note: My responses are not intended to provide or replace medical and mental wellness advice, diagnosis or treatments.
If you have a question or situation you would like to see addressed in the “Dear Coach Melanie” miniseries regarding life and stress management, navigating and balancing life, change and transition, well-being, mindfulness, self-awareness or personal growth email Coach Melanie at firstname.lastname@example.org, direct message me on Facebook or Twitter @forwardmusesoul.
Please Note: Not all letters will be posted. Thank you for connecting- Coach Melanie Christian 🙂