“Be confident to attract what you want!!” How many times in our lives have we heard those words of encouragement? What is attraction really and how do we generate it?  

I like to picture attraction as an equation:  self assurance + intent = an attraction field.  Attraction is an energy or symphony of energies we arouse when we are excited, passionate and trusting of our own knowledge, skills and instincts.  It is a powerful force that can instantly engage others’ desire to be part of “the buzz”.  That’s the attraction field.  Celebrities are well known for their attraction quotient (focal point of an attraction field), which is often referred to as stardom and the resulting trendsetting and pop culture surrounding them.

But, like so many things in life knowing is easier than doing.  Yes, in order to attract the things we desire most in life (a partner, career advancement, money…) we need to be confident within ourselves in order to plan, articulate and market our needs.  However, working with our self-doubt based fear is often our greatest challenge in creating and maintaining that much needed attraction field.

Understanding that fear is not always something we need to work past, but work with is part of the battle.  Fear can alert us to other variables we may not have consciously flagged yet.  It also serves as a landmark for how harmonized we are with ourselves (e.g. being fearful all the time vs. barely at all).

So how do we use that fear to our benefit and the benefit of others?  Once we have reflected and interpreted what our self-doubt based fear is really telling us, we then have the mental-spiritual space to channel that energy into evoking our desired attraction field:

1. Affirmations-  What we believe about ourselves and the world around us directs our conscious and unconscious thoughts.  Feed your mind-spirit supportive, approving and open reflections to help instill beliefs that discourage and work with self-doubt to avoid becoming immobilized and stagnant.  When creating your personal affirmations acknowledge the humanity of your fear- we ALL experience it!  Shift these self doubting and fear based thoughts into positive statements, (this is part of the process of channeling fear for overall benefit):  “I live in the present, and acknowledge myself as human and ever learning”; “Every thought I think is creating my future, and can be changed and renewed with self-love and acceptance”; “I am thankful for the truths I’ve learned through challenge, and express my innermost self with love and light”.  Record your personal affirmations and listen to them before bed, when waking up and on your way to and from work, post them on your fridge (Make it fun!  Turn them into fridge magnets) or bathroom mirror, use them as a mantra when exercising, doing yoga (write them on your yoga mat in different colours) and other forms of meditation.

2.  Plan and Organize your Attraction Goals through Visualizations-  We are all inherently creative beings; tap into your creative side by chronicling your goals and desires through vision boards, mixed media journaling, paper crafts, painting, drawing and sculpting series.  This creative exercise is vital to awakening and channeling your attraction field, identifying your attraction quotient and gaining more context.  Giving your attraction quotient’s language and conveying it to others (verbally and non-verbally) will then become more fluid.  Keep these visual aids in a prominent place, refer back to them frequently and update them as your goal(s) and attraction field becomes more refined.

3.  Share your Fears/Vulnerabilities-  Fear and self doubt are isolating and at times debilitating.  Relating your feelings, challenges and experiences to others helps to build a supportive community where it is easier to recognize you/we are not alone in our fears.  Humans are natural problem solvers.  Sharing our vulnerabilities also fosters realizations (self and peer), creative solutions and partnerships.

So here’s to integrating your fears and being attractive!!

The Process of Life blog posts are inspired lessons, learnings and meditations acquired for myself and my fellow growth journeyers- Coach Melanie